Harsh reality

Pain is the only thing that makes you feel alive….it may sound a little morbid but its true. It also means that you are a human who cared for something and valued it more than you knew and when it got taken away you feel the pain of separation…
Here I am at 5.04 am lying wide awake thinking about pain and all that I have lost in a short course of time. Some were lost due to my faults and some were simply taken away as a punishment I guess…whatever it was I definitely feel alive and regret it. I don’t want this world and this life…
Not everything is horrible in my life right now and must add that that’s the only reason I still live…people say one must forgive.oneself first in order to move on but I don’t feel like doing that lest I make the same mistakes again…this is my constant reminder and my penance…to remember all that I did which ultimately backfired and is hurting my every cell like a million swords…

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