The Offended

We are a strange nation. Just saying. I know it’s more of a FYI thing. We have double standards and hypocrisies so deeply enshrined in our ethos it’s almost like our morning tea and biscuits. We get offended at every single thing. I won’t be surprised if someone got offended at the first line of this post and said to me, “Boohoo you ungrateful child! This country is your home and you should have respect”. My point exactly. This country is my home and everyone should be able to say what they want and be allowed to live like they want to. Unfortunately, my fellow citizen has decided to misuse the privilege of living simply by choosing to live in offense of everything. If tomorrow my roommate were to declare my eating as offensive to her sensibilities and her father were a great big personality and I a normal middle class child, who do you think would win the case? She. Of course. Firstly she got offended and God forbid that from ever happening to her. I mean she had to witness me swallowing food and who’d want to see that. [I eat quiet decently by the way. But who’s going to care anyway about me.] She would have choked had I not been stopped from eating. Get my point?

We are a nation of touch- me not. Emotional? I don’t think so. Opportunistic? Maybe a little but that’s important. Intolerant bigots? Absolutely. Have you noticed that there’s a pattern in our offenses? It is always the rich and the powerful that have the liberty of offense. There’s a plot of cosmic magnitude at play here. People like me and you are basically too busy getting a life. Let us look at the pyramid I made to illustrate my point:

New Picture

In keeping with my nationality, I maybe a little biased in saying that only the rich and powerful get offended. Actually it’s the people who have a sadistic mind set with a hell bent God complex to make the world their oyster, who get offended and the burden of offense is almost always with the innocent. I don’t know if they go through any training once their economic levels qualify them to be in “The offended” zone of the pyramid.

Now, I am an ordinary, no good- er, dim witted, not rich and judgemental prick. This means I don’t understand the nuances of the sport of offense. Although I know such events are not capricious. It is not even about being obscure in your activity. Someone somewhere will find out and will get offended at what you have done. The offense follows, like any honourable game, a set of rules:

  • Will it get the offended an opportunity to prove he’s self righteous?
  • Will it ensure some freedom of bashing, property destruction and holiday from work on account of dharna.
  • Is the offender a relevant person/ thing/ act that have tried to showcase something different from what is mundane?
  • What is the lucrative time scale of this activity? [Serious economics must be at play here, trying to calculate the Internal Rate of Return, Net Present Value and salvage value of the offense.]

These, as an observer, I can infer are the rules to abide by. Maybe one day when I become rich and get to know the right people I’ll also get offended. Till then my anger won’t make a difference to a dead leaf on a pavement but the anger of the educated moralists can lead to pilferage of the honest tax payer’s money because with the power to get offended comes the power to vandalize. Slow brains like mine couldn’t possibly fathom the finer details of this sport but I’d like to suggest to these people, as honourable as Brutus, to try to switch off their laptops when the offender tries to indulge in a harmless activity of expressing their thoughts to each other. Let us not give way to a chaotic a world where no one knows who’s protecting whom from what!

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